| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|10:44 pm] |
I really, really, really miss Otay Ranch.
 |
|
|
| You, and only you. |
[Jul. 17th, 2008|10:02 pm] |
"YOU" is my most favourite word.
you, you, you, you, YOU! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2007|01:37 pm] |
I can’t recall how exactly it all began; all I am sure of is the tragic ending that took part.
We were both seated on a love seat in my living room, with our computers in our laps, and I got an IM from him that read something like “I can’t take this anymore”, and then the man immediately gave me a kiss on the cheek. I responded by embracing him with a big smile and kissing him back. He was surprised. He did not imagine I would take his confession so well. I was more than glad.
After our long trip my grandma and I, accompanied with another long haired woman made a bathroom stop at some outdoor venue where the Magnetic Fields were playing their last song for the night. Up in the balcony above the stage I saw him again; this time without the loving, friendly expression I met him in April with. He said he was not happy to see me, and that disappointed me. There was a portal to a park inside the bathroom and there I met a beautiful woman whom I fell in love with. Throughout our walk we talked and talked, stopping once in a while for her to stroke my hair and kiss me. Towards the end of the path she ignored me and tried to evade me. After asking her what was wrong she told me that she didn’t want anything to do with me. I tried to take a taxi to the store where I was supposed to meet grandma with bags and bags of merchandise for her store. I missed the filthy bus, and I think I lost a few bags between the stop and trying to get inside the crowded bus. I counted everything to make sure I hadn’t lost anything, and some young men showed up and looked through the bags and attempted to rape me.
Grandma and I left the venue on a tram, no longer accompanied by the long haired woman, but this time by my brother, who had just given me some spare change. On the tram I saw that girl I dislike from school that looks like Ranoo, and she was with her grandfather. Her grandfather saw the money in my hands and tried to force me to give it to him, and after I refused, he had an attack, his eyes bloodshot and bulging, and he died on the spot. I opened my eyes, and I was in the floor of a hospital lobby, and my 6 month child was on the floor inside a green plastic container, freezing to death. Within a few minutes I returned and saw his limp body on the floor, and I held it in my arms. I had no money to buy the spare clone. As a man came up to me to take the lifeless infant to dispose of it, my mother was able to see its face and said, “She looked exactly like you”. I glanced at her face and it was true. She was my spitting image. I was still holding her lifeless, limp and heavy body, and I open my eyes.
The light is still on and “As You Turn To Go” is still playing on repeat. I turn off the light and cry in silence until I can’t take it anymore and being to wail. My mom wakes up next to me and I can’t even speak because I am overcome with sorrow. |
|
|
| keep on livin'. |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|07:38 pm] |
| [ | feeling |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Le Tigre - Keep On Livin' | ] |
Today, went from good, to bad, to WORSE, to not so bad on the end. I haven't had any sleep for the past 30 hours- probably even more, but I won't stress on that due to the fact that I suck at math and won't even bother with counting. So basically everything was going well in the morning, I had stayed up all night, but nonetheless finished up the 4 credits I was to turn in that day and supposedly get dropped from the Learning Center.
After that, it was all just a complete back-and-forth mess. We went straight over to the district to get a transfer request, and when we filled out the form, they said they'd let me know if they accepted or denied it within 1-2 weeks. Great. More lost school time.
So when plan A didn't work, my mom immediately made up a plan B and suggested we talked to the AP and ask her for just 2 minutes of her time to grant us the transfer. Needless to say, the AP acted like a stuck up bitch and looked at me transcript to figure out that I was 1 credit short (31). Apparently, they had retracted the exception of allowing students onto the main campus with one credit short, and that was that. She acted like she didn't even care or want to listen to what I had to say, and what where my reasons for that transfer request. So she dismissed me, and I had no other choice but to feel like shit. I sereiously did. I felt like I slaved myself over with homework for no apparent reason in the end. So I did what Cat eventually ends up doing in the end of similar
situations: scream and cry.
My dad also felt frustrated about the situation, so he immediately left me to some alone time and drove up right to the counselor and demanded to know what was going to happen. so to make a long story short, it appeared I was going to stay until January or until I completed 7 more credits (38). I didn't know if I could go through all that, especially after the big fall I had taken just a few minutes ago.
To make a long story short, the outcome of all of this is that, since my meeting with th AP wasn't supposed to be until this next Wednesday, I am determined to finish up that 1 credit I have left before that time, and see the look on the AP's face when she sees how dead serious I am about returning to school and getting that transfer. I wanna see her give me one good reason for her to deny me that. If that's not proof enough that I wanna straighten my education up, I don't know what is.
So right now, I guess I'm feeling alot better now, and after some sleep, I bet I'll feel even better. I guess I am going to "taste that sweet sweet cake" after all. I've just worked so hard for this. I know I deserve this. I deserve a break.
scarling.
|
Sep 7, 2006 1:43 PM
::::hugggggssss:::::
|
This REALLY helped. :)
** thanks to my trying to figure out how the hell to put this on here I accidentally deleted this comment. :) |
|
|
| locked. |
[Sep. 5th, 2006|11:45 am] |
please comment.
I'll be your friend. <3 |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
anchorboat's journal